


far above the moon

by svpportive



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Muggle, Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, Getting Back Together, Humor, Love Confessions, M/M, MWPP, Miscommunication, Weddings, you're in a car with a beautiful boy-
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-07
Updated: 2020-12-07
Packaged: 2021-03-10 07:35:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27579914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/svpportive/pseuds/svpportive
Summary: Three months ago, Remus was set up on a blind date and met Benjy Fenwick, who was in a similar situation in almost every sense of the word. One month ago, they had gotten engaged, and proceeded to plan the most rushed wedding in existence.A wedding that was currently taking place, just without him.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 4
Kudos: 78
Collections: Wolfstar Games 2020





	far above the moon

**Author's Note:**

> what’s the difference between understanding and knowing? i wanted to explore what it was like knowing someone like the back of your hand, even when there’s a distance between you, either physically or mentally. its that beauty of some things not having to be said to seen. i hope I got at least a little bit of that in there somewhere. anyways goodnight! gay rights! happy wolfstar games (im on team sight)!

_Different people need different kinds of communication for it to have the same effect._

Even when he was much younger and supposedly less of a cynic about it all, Remus hadn’t ever believed he would get married.

It just didn’t seem to be in the cards for him, or achievable at all, so he didn’t see the point in holding out hope. He held some stock in love of course - love was everywhere; you couldn’t watch an advert for pizza rolls these days without that being evident - but marriage? Not so much. Nothing about it seemed like an investment worth making.

His therapist, of course, would lay the blame at the feet of his parent’s own tumultuous and lengthy separation and subsequent divorce (two different eras), and Remus wouldn’t disagree, but there was also just the proof all around him. Divorce rates, secondhand embarrassment while watching public arguments, jokes older people made at the expense of the person they’d vowed to spend the rest of their life in support of. Really, the only person he knew with an actually sound marriage was James, (but he found a lot of things worked out for James that didn’t work for most people).

And yet, here he was, staring at his reflection, on the supposed most important day of his life. Today, Remus Lupin was getting married.

Of course, if he ever managed to get the pink noose that was his tie knotted correctly.

“You look like you could use some help there, mate.”

He turns to see James in the doorway, and sighs with relief, “Ugh, yes please.”

James laughs as he comes over, taking the wretched thing up over his head and then stringing it onto his own neck so he can tie it himself. It reminds Remus eerily of their first day of school, when he’d been struggling with his uniform and his cool new roommate he’d met the day before had offered to do it for him.

“Deja vu, eh?” James asks, seemingly reading his mind, “Lots of that today.”

“How do you mean?”

James’ smile drops a fraction for a moment, and he doesn’t look Remus in the eye, exactly, when he shrugs and tries in vain to act like it hadn’t. “Nothing! Just. With the venue and the color scheme and…” He doesn’t need to go on, Remus knows what he’s getting at. They both share in the fairly guilty, awkward silence.

One year ago, James had married his wife Lily in a beautiful and joyous ceremony that was wonderfully and delicately done, with some meticulous planning and thoughtful details. Eleven months after that, Remus decided to accept an out of the blue engagement with a startlingly quick turnaround, and gave the first thought of his life towards planning a wedding.

So he had stolen some ideas, perhaps. Or maybe all of it, right down to the flower arrangements and the hired photographer. (It helped that Lily was very gracious about it, and still considered them friends. Remus wasn’t very sure he would be the same if it were reversed, but that’s Lily Potter for you.)

Remus laughs, unsteadily, hoping that the moment would pass like the other very few that there had been in the decade that he and James had known each other (although it is safe to say that the majority of those moments had taken place fairly recently). James finishes the knot on himself and then transfers it to Remus’ own neck, and he turns to the mirror again to adjust it, returning to the staring contest he had with his reflection minutes earlier.

Something about his face still isn’t right. He was still frowning. “You were nervous before your wedding, weren’t you?”

James grins, “I think that’s the understatement of the century, Lupin.”

They both take a moment to remember that James hadn’t stopped crying once during his entire wedding day, until perhaps the reception. Sirius still showed the picture of James sobbing about the centerpieces to people at parties.

 _Sirius_ . Remus feels a stone drop into his stomach. Wait, no, that implied caring far too much about the subject, he needs to reel it back. What Remus actually feels is a stone skip along the lake in his stomach. That seems more accurate. Surely you can be concerned without being _concerned_.

Right on time, Peter’s head appears in the doorway. “Hey mates! Wow, Remus, you look brilliant!”

“Thanks, Peter, so do you.”

Peter beams, “Thank you! It was good I still had the suit from last year, it just needed a trip to the dry cleaners! Can’t even smell the peach snapps that Sirius made me spill all over when-”

James coughs loudly, cutting him off, and the two of them engage in a sort of signal that Remus can guess at.

Remus asks instead, “Is it getting crowded yet? Are they getting bored? Is everyone who needs to be here, here?”

Peter thinks for a moment. “It’s fairly crowded, but some rows are still kind of empty - but I’m sure they’ll fill up soon, there’s a bit of time left! Er, I wouldn’t say anyone’s bored other than some people on the groo- well the _other_ groom’s side, but they’re chatting fine last time I saw. Oh, and your last question, that’s what I came to see you about!”

“What, who’s missing?”

“Er, no one.” Peter says in an odd tone suddenly, but instead of looking at him, he’s looking over Remus’ shoulder. Remus turns quickly to see James midway through trying to hide a throat cutting motion. “No one!”

Remus sighs. “It’s alright if he is, I figured as much.”

Rather than let Peter confirm or deny, James steps closer to him and puts a hand on either of his shoulders. “Remus, forget about all that. How are you doing? Excited? You mentioned nerves?”

Remus nods, and finds himself being rotated to face the mirror. “Yeah, somewhat. But that’s just pre-wedding jitters, right? Everyone gets like this beforehand, it's natural.”

“Yeah!” James agrees, clapping him on the back. “A spot of cold feet doesn’t hurt anyone!”

“Except people who’ve got cold feet due to hypothermia,” Peter chimes in.

James continues on breezily, if through somewhat gritted teeth. “Except for them, yes, but luckily for us it’s August, isn’t it! And even if the dead of summer fails us, we’ve got socks!”

Remus nods once again at the thin, flushed, nervous looking man in the mirror, and nods at him. “Yeah, it’s all going to be fine. This is what I want!” He laughs, and tries to keep his grin up to hide the brittleness to it that even he could hear. “I’ve got socks- I mean. I’ve got this.”

James and Peter, his two best friends in the world, stand guard on either side of his red and nervous reflection. James pats his back again proudly and Peter gives a thumbs up. Remus makes another attempt at straightening his tie. “Alright, it’s time to go out there, lads.”

He goes out and shakes hands with so many people that he almost stops feeling so guilty about how sweaty they are. Why they had thought an outdoor wedding in sunny August where he would spend the entirety of it in a three piece suit would be a good idea is beyond him. Remus makes an effort to smile and answer the same questions anyway. _Thank you for coming, yes it was quick, wasn’t it, hope you have a good time, yes the reception will have an open bar_.

Most of the guests know each other, by virtue of the majority of them having rubbed elbows in one place or another, most likely at James and Lily’s wedding last year. Dorcas is even wearing the same dress she had as Lily’s bridesmaid, although it has somehow transformed into a jumpsuit now. He’s about to compliment her on it when she cuts him off.

“You sure about this, Lupin?”

“Yes! God, why do people keep asking me that?”

Dorcas raises an eyebrow, but when he shakes her girlfriend’s hand, Marlene’s grip is as strong as ever, and she merely winks at him.

“No reason. Just wondering if you’re really considering your options. I mean, look at us, we got stuck with either _Morcas_ or _Dorlene_ for the rest of our lives.”

Remus doesn’t know how to respond to this. “Have you thought about _Darlene_ perhaps?”

Dorcas shakes her head, “No, I’ve got a homophobic great-aunt by that name, we wouldn’t want to honor her or anything.”

Marlene snorts. “She’d finally shrivel up and die, and she hasn’t even left Dor anything in the will, so there really is no point. Say, is Sirius back from France yet or are we still pretending he doesn’t exist?”

Remus coughs. “The latter, I think.”

“Gotcha.” Marlene snaps her fingers, before threading her arm through Dorcas’. “Well, best of luck to you both. We’ll be seeing you.” And she deftly steers them away from Remus, leaving him suddenly more alone and more confused than ever. A running theme of the day.

He feels someone pat his shoulder, and turns to find Lily with a sympathetic smile, holding out a plate of hors d'oeuvres, from which he takes one gratefully.

“You’re a lifesaver as ever, Lily.”

“Evidently.” She grins. “How were the McMeadowes?”

“They were…” Remus is fortunately saved from finding an accurate description for the indescribable past conversation by his mobile ringing, and he holds a finger out to quiet Lily apologetically as he fishes it out.

“Why do you have your mobile on you at your own wedding?” She breaks through his finger anyway, and he in turn ignores her to answer the call without looking at who would be calling him that wasn't already present at this event.

“ **_Moony_ ** _! You picked up, I said he would, didn’t I, Mssr. Black Eye?_ ”

The stone he had skipped along earlier definitely definitively dropped at the familiar voice on the line. He pulled away the phone to look at the Caller ID. It was the county’s police station.

“Sirius?” Remus still says, to make sure even as every fiber in his being has recognized this moment as being unfortunately real. Lily’s eyes widened. He makes an aborted half-spin as if that will help focus his thoughts. It doesn’t.

“ _Yes?_ ” Is the response he gets on the other line, as he had still been talking all this time, and Remus had only just interrupted him.

“Where are you?”

“ _Uhhhh. Jail. Haha. Yeah jail. They said something about bail for when I was calling, which makes sense cause they rhyme. I think more things should rhyme, I've always said so, you know this, Moony. Schmoony. Loony._ ” Again, he kept going.

Remus shut his eyes tightly. “I’ll be there in twenty.”

It takes him sixteen minutes to get there, but that’s because he’d first had to borrow James’ car, and then fight him first over not coming. If nothing else was clear, however, it was that Remus had to do this alone.

As Remus furiously makes his way through traffic, he reviews in his mind a brief timeline of events:

  * Two years ago, at a drunken halloween party, Remus kissed Sirius in a game of Truth or Dare. The next morning, they had woken up beside each other in a state of undress, and wildly hungover to boot.
  * A further two days later, they had then begun what they foolishly believed would be the easiest relationship in the world, based on the principles that 1. they were already best friends and 2. this would be that but with kissing
  * One and a half tumultuously exciting years later, they called it quits in a move that lacked as much composure as it did closure. Remus coped by going back to school. Sirius coped by running away to France and cutting off contact with anyone but James.
  * Three months ago, Remus was set up on a blind date and met Benjy Fenwick, who was in a similar situation in almost every sense of the word.
  * One month ago, they had gotten engaged, and proceeded to plan the most rushed wedding in existence.
  * A wedding that was currently taking place, just without him.



“I can’t believe you actually showed up!” Is the best Sirius has to greet him with when he arrives, sitting upright in his cell next to a man with a ferocious black eye. He’s wearing a very disheveled suit and an inexplicably huge grin. Remus is irritated to see that he looks as handsome as ever.

The police officer rolls his eyes, even though neither of them are looking at him. Remus sighs and silently agrees, pulling the paperwork closer and squinting.

“What, you didn’t bring your readers with you? Didn’t fit with the whole bridegroom vibe you were trying for?” Sirius is still talking, and Remus can tell he is still drunk.

He finishes the last few lines still in silence, before handing the clipboard back over. “Is that all? Is he free to go?”

The police officer nods. “Yeah. You’ll get the notice for the charges in the mail.”

“Great.” Remus says, because what else is there to say, and then he wraps an arm under Sirius and gets him to stand up while leaning on him, before beginning their hobbling walk to James’ car.

“You know what’s great, Remus? Me.” Sirius says, staggering but still remarkably coherent given his state. Although currently he is more focused on speaking into Remus’ ear than standing on his own. “You know who isn’t great? Remus, take a guess.”

Remus sighs, and takes a guess. “Benjy?”

Sirius gasps. “You think so too! Then why are you marrying him?”

“Get in, Sirius.” They had reached the car.

Sirius raised a finger, closing his eyes, and standing completely still. “One moment, if you please.” And then he proceeded to bend over and throw up onto the pavement, not missing Remus’ shoes.

Remus sighs, another recurring theme of the day. “Great.”

They sit at a nearby bench as they wait for Sirius to sober up instead of in the car, because James was already guaranteed to be pissed without adding vomit on his leather seats to the mix.

Remus had convinced the policewoman at the desk to give him a paper cup of water, and Sirius was currently drinking from it as if it were an oasis in a desert. He gulps the last of it down before putting the cup down and letting out a satisfied noise and standing up.

“I think that should do the trick. Alright, let’s go. At this rate we can still make it before the vows.”

“What?”

Sirius looks at him incredulously, which would be hilarious if Remus were anywhere near that spectrum of madness at the moment. “Your wedding, idiot. Let’s go.”

“What the fuck are you talking about, Sirius?”

“I just sa—”

“You call me, _drunk_ , from the police station because you’ve been arrested for public intoxication, after I haven’t heard from you in _months_ , on the day of my _wedding_ —”

“Okay, okay, that sounds bad, I’ll admit.”

“Yeah, it sounds bad! In what fucking scenario would that sound good?”

Sirius sits down again, “Alright, you got me there.”

Remus snorts, looking away.

“Hey,” Sirius nudges his elbow. “I’m sorry.”

“I don’t know if that’ll cut it this time, Sirius, I’ll be honest.”

“But I am!”

“I don’t know what you are! I haven’t seen you in months, the last I heard you were in France. All I had to go on was from a fucking _note_!”

“Ugh, I know. I am sorry for that too, really. I hope you’ll understand that I mean that.”

“I’ve never understood you, Sirius. And I truly mean that.”

Sirius sat up. “What? I don’t think that’s true.”

“Yes, it is and it’s why we didn’t work, Sirius. You never explain yourself to me, I always have to guess at your intentions for everything.”

“I know.”

That admission is what gets Remus to pull his head from his hands. Sirius pats his knee and leans back against the bench. All traces of humor had drained from his expression.

“You were always there, Remus, in a way that I have never been able to cope with. You were consistent, and you stayed no matter what I threw at you - bad habits, messiness, my mood swings - you were always there and you didn’t just understand me, you _knew_ me. That’s what terrified me.”

“What?”

Sirius looks at him, and it’s a split second - his hair is unkempt and coming down from its half-bun, his day-old eyeliner is smudged, and he looks at him from a downward angle and with that familiar self-deprecating grin. A split second, but it reminds Remus like a shot to the gut why he’d fallen for him so hard and for so long.

“You terrified me, Moody, because you were willing to take the time to understand me like no one ever had, and I wanted you forever.”

He laughs, a hollow noise. “So in return I did everything I could to prove to you that that was the worst decision you ever made. I didn’t deserve you like that, and I knew that every minute.”

“Sirius, that’s ridiculous-”

“No, it isn’t! Just, look at you! While I fled the country scared of myself and that I would be reminded of you on every street corner, you threw yourself into school, something you’ve always wanted to do! I’m so proud of you, and I’m working on being someone that you can be proud of too.”

Remus swallowed. There was a lot to process. First of course, was the declaration that Sirius walked out on him due to “communication difficulties that he just couldn’t wrap his head around”, as the note he’d left on the bedside table was a lie. Second, that he truly regretted it and wanted to explain that in a less dickhead fashion. 

And not only that, but if Remus understood him right, he seemed to… doubt him. His love that is. And that couldn’t stand. Sirius loved him. And all he was asking for was that he be reassured that Remus loved him in return. Who was he to begrudge him some initial fear because of that?

“Sirius, you’re the most brilliant, the most exciting, the most wonderful person I know, but you’re an idiot. Of course you deserve me.”

However, Sirius wasn’t fazed, and didn’t seem to even realize that Remus had lodged a disagreement with his spiel, “So, no. You do understand me, and that’s a fact - just like how I understand you, Remus Lupin.”

“Yeah, and how’s that?”

“Well I know for a fact that if he truly loved and cared about the man he was marrying, Remus Lupin wouldn't have spent the better half of his wedding day on a bench outside a police station chatting with his ex.”

Remus jolted. He had forgotten about the wedding. “Oh god. Benjy.”

“Yeah, I’ll say. However, I can’t seem to regret it, cause it sounds to me then that he must feel pretty strongly about this ex.”

“Sirius-”

“C’mon, we’ll make better time if you have this breakdown in the car. You drive though, I think I may still be somewhat drunk.”

Once they hit the highway that Sirius claims will take them there faster, Remus finally works out his words. “I didn’t want to get married.”

“Well I think that’s pretty obvious.” Sirius replies, holding onto the handlebar above the passenger window. He had never liked when Remus’ drove, but was evidently making a valiant effort not to mention it now.

“No, I mean before. Back at James and Lily’s wedding last year. That’s when you began acting weird, because you thought I would never want to get married, and commit to a life with you.”

“I didn’t-” the objection fades from Sirius’ tone as he gives up his attempt to shield himself.

“I’m right, aren’t I? I’ve always talked shit about marriage, and you would agree, but I knew when looking at your face that day that you wanted it someday. You wanted what they had, the sappiness and cheesiness and everything.”

Remus hardly breathed, chancing a glance at Sirius’ face. “You were scared that you were all I wanted, but that you may want more.”

“Well I was wrong, wasn’t I? I mean, here we are on your wedding day.”

Remus shook his head. “No, you were right, Sirius. I didn’t want to get married - after you left I got consumed with it, I kept seeing it as the only way I could be whole again, to prove myself that I didn’t need you. I rushed things like I said I would never do, played with my future because I couldn’t stop thinking about how I had lost spending the rest of it with you. But, Pads, if I’ve realized anything throughout this whirlwind process is that I definitely would never want to get married. Unless it was to you.”

Sirius was quiet. Remus had tears threatening to well in his eyes, “Sirius?”

Sirius was looking straight at the road, his face a mask.“Remus Lupin, did you just propose to me while on the M25 on the way to your own wedding?”

Remus groaned, and the tension was suddenly broken as they both laughed. 

“Pull over.”

“What?”

“Pull over right now.”

“Wh- okay! Okay.”

As soon as he pulled into the narrow stretch on the side of the road, Sirius shifted in his seat to face him. “Well? Did you?”

“I think so?” Remus looks away, down at his hands, upon which a strange and unfamiliar ring had tried to make its home on his finger for the last month. It didn’t sit right, and never had, and now Remus knew why.

“Do you mean it?”

Sirius was still smiling, but sincerity had leaked into his voice, and Remus found himself incapable of doing anything but smile back. “Yes. You understand me, just as I understand you. I would marry you, Sirius Black, and no one else.”

He laughed wetly in response, “And I would marry you, and no one else.”

Remus watched cars go by out of the corner of his eye, holding people completely oblivious to the colossal life changing moment that had just taken place in his best friend’s car, and then looked back to Sirius, who was the only one capable of making him feel such colossal emotions, all while being the one person who could give him this level of contentment.

“Can I kiss you?” he asked.

“Ah! Like you even need to ask, Moony.” And the next few minutes were spent with Sirius swinging his leg over the center console, and making good on that promise.

When they pull away, Remus has untied Sirius’ tie, and Sirius was trying to return the favor. As Sirius works to get the knot to loosen, Remus looks up into his familiar grey eyes and remembers an important detail. “Why call me today? Why not before?”

Sirius sits back, fiddling with the pink tie still. “I was distraught, obviously, and could think of no one else to call.”

Remus isn’t about to let him off easy, however. “That’s not true, you could’ve called James.”

“And received an earful, while also being forced to attend the wedding under his and Evans’ supervision, with no chance of making an interruption during the “speak now or forever hold your peace part”? Of course not.”

“Wormtail?”

“In future, please do not refer to Peter while your lips are on my person. I feel like we’ve been over this before.”

“Why call me?” Remus pressed, “I might not have answered, you know. This might not have worked out.”

“Of course it would have. I would have figured out something - some way to crash your wedding. And if not, I suppose I would have settled for being your first extramarital affair.”

“Sirius!”

He just laughs, and finally succeeds in unraveling his tie. “What! It took me a while, yes, but I would have come back to fight for you. I know you, and I knew you wouldn’t have been happy with Benjy Fenwick of all people.”

Remus groans again at the reminder. “Oh god, I have to go back in there and tell him that I want to call off the wedding.”

“It’ll come as a surprise to nobody.”

Remus begins to protest before wisely choosing not to. “Alright, get off me, we have to face the music eventually.”

“And after?”

Remus leaned up to kiss him, once more just to remind himself that he could have this for the rest of his life, as long as he was willing to commit to it. “After that we're gonna talk about this, and I'm going to prove to you that the both of us deserve each other in equal amounts. Then we can make plans for something built to last. Agreed?”

Sirius grinned, and settled himself back into the passenger seat just as Remus merged back onto the highway, “I do.”

**Author's Note:**

> **Mod Note**
> 
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